Archive for the ‘Romans’ Category
Be Proud?!?!
I know. This isn’t what you are expecting on a “fathering website.” You expect me to tell you to be humble, meek, and soft-spoken. Well, O.K. Be those things too.
But BE PROUD as well! How can I say that? Simply because there is a significant difference between pride that is sinful (arrogance) and pride that is simply an honest measurement of oneself that is positive.
The key to the difference? It is whether you are measuring yourself in comparison to others. Consider what the Bible says:
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.
– Galatians 6:4
You see? We OUGHT to be considering whether we are doing a good job as a dad – if we are making each day count. And when we test our own actions and know in our heart, “I hit that one out of the park!” We should feel PROUD about it!
The bad kind of pride comes when we start thinking too highly of ourselves. (We all know someone like that, don’t we?) The Bible warns about that to:
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
– Romans 12:3
So, bottom line, if you are good at something, it’s O.K. to be proud about it. It’s when you start comparing yourself to others that arrogance sets in, and the Bible has plenty to say about that, including the well known, “pride comes before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) This is especially important to teach your kids. They ought to be proud of the skills and talents they have. Teach your kids to be proud but to be humble at the same time. Humility is keeping the focus on others, even if or when their skills are better. That’s a challenge!
When I was a young boy and was beginning to display talent in some areas, I still remember my dad encouraging me to be proud of those skills but never to compare myself to others. He coached me that others would have different talents in other areas, and that the talents I had came from God, so I had no right to ever boast about them. He made me memorize this verse:
Or who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?
– 1 Corinthians 4:7
He wanted me to be proud of my skills but never cocky. Dads, you can model this! Be proud of who you are. Don’t be afraid to say, “This is something I’m really good at,” while at the same time pointing out the skills and talents of others and showing you admire them too. Let your kids know when you are proud of them. After all, they are proud of YOU, and that’s no sin!
The good news is, we’ll all be boasting on each other someday if we are following Jesus! Need proof? Here it is:
As you have understood us in part, you will come to understand fully that you can boast of us just as we will boast of you in the day of the Lord Jesus.
– 2 Corinthians 1:14
Until then, BE PROUD! (But stay humble too!)
As dads, we like to present this image that we are in charge. That we have it all together. That nothing is wrong and “we got this.”
More likely, we are juggling 87 balls and only 23 are in the air. (or are you saying back at me, “more like 12?”)
Allow me to let you in on a little secret… your family has already figured out that you aren’t on top of everything! So the sooner you admit it to them, the better off you will be.
We don’t like feeling like a failure. Here’s the good news, you’re aren’t! Ideal Life isn’t possible! There is too much to do, and not enough hours or days or years to ever do it all, and on top of that, you (and me) are broken imperfect people.
The key to successful dadhood is not so much lowering our standard, but accepting who we are and getting a realistic view of ourselves.
The Bible says,
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
– Romans 12:3
In other words, don’t be so hard on yourself – you are only human. Do what you can each day, be willing to say “I’m Sorry,” when you blow it or fall short of yours or others expectation, for tomorrow is another day.
The Bible also offers this encouragement:
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
– Philippians 1:6
There used to be a popular bumper sticker that said, “Please be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet.” I’ve often thought I should just wear a t-shirt every day that says, “UNDER CONSTRUCTION.” Because I know despite my best efforts, I still fall short of my own best intentions, let alone anyone else’s!
As a dad, at the end of the day, it’s more important to your kids to be REAL, than to be perfect. That’s a characteristic they will admire in the long run. They’ve already figured out you aren’t perfect. What they want to know is, are you honest about yourself?
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